So, have you identified "your songs" yet? Did some songs immediately resonate with you while others left you wondering what must have happened in my life to make me write them?
Welcome to the page which can provide answers to your curiosity questions.
Once you've finished reading, I guarantee you'll laugh harder, listen in awe, and maybe even be truly moved to tears as you find your own version of each story.
And once you've mastered the lyrics, take some time to see if you can find all of the musical jokes and commentary which I introduce to help make various points.
(Note for screen-reader users: Each song title has its own heading.)
I suspect this song is quite self-evident. At age 34, upon hearing that I had diabetes, I was really quite stunned. It took awhile for me to actually say the word out loud and boy did I make plans for a good old-fashioned pout. Want to sing along?
Okay, as I said, I wasn't a teen-ager when I had to adjust to life with diabetes. Thank goodness! But I do remember one day, fairly early in the process, my long-acting insulin had just been changed. I was preparing to go out to attend a pretty important meeting. As I sat on the floor, trying to tie my shoes, I was suddenly truly overcome by the fear of what my body was going to do during this meeting. Would I crash? Would I be okay? I still remember the child-like tantrum I threw, purely out of fear. So, a little poetic license and I figured this scenario would translate well to that first date after diagnosis. Now, what's your version of this experience?
The idea for this song came from an experience I had at one of those meetings I just mentioned. I was still keeping diabetes rather quiet when a person showed up and very loudly announced, "Here! I bought doughnuts for everyone else but since you're diabetic and I know you can't have them, I bought you a bran muffin!" Not only did I really not want that muffin, but I wanted to crawl through the floor! And truthfully, we know many people like those in this song. Who are you playing it for?
By the way, as you listen to the middle part of the song, can you follow the backup vocal parts? The singer on the left is doing the math. The singer on the right is giving you the carbs for each food in a meal. Hmmm. A doughnut if you can figure those out!
It was an evening spent with a "diabetes support group" which left a lasting impression on me that became this song. Have you ever visited a group that felt more like a competition than a support? On one occasion, I mentioned missing french fries. "Ew! You don't eat that stuff, do you? It's all that awful fat and…" Now, of course, I was suddenly all too aware of what was in foods and what was supposed to be good or bad for me. But that didn't mean I had forgotten how good they tasted? Or the events with which they were associated? So I just decided it was time we took a different approach to thinking about food. After many years of living with the method, I'm beginning to realize that guilt just doesn't work.
So, who are your old friends? Are you visiting them again? Tell them hi for me, okay?
Oh yes, that first verse has been all too real for me. It took me awhile to reach the point of being able to actually talk about what to do in the midst of a silly argument when my husband really did sometimes have to figure out whether I was just being emotional or whether my blood sugar level was in fact dropping. And while naturally, I sympathize with his plight, there's just nothing worse than not being taken seriously, especially when I'm being ridiculous! But as time went on, it sure helped to know that every couple faced exactly the same dilemma as we did. So he was no longer an idiot!
So I hope that this song will help you relax about this common trip-up and maybe those unpredictable moments will be easier to sort out. Of course, I promise not to tell if you use that excuse to steal a friend's cool snack!
Oh yes, there was quite a story behind the creation of this song! One day I had an appointment with a new endocrinologist. The nurse came and escorted me down the hall, stopping at the scale. It was one of those scales which was built right into the floor. As I stepped on the scale, my guide dog decided that it was time to snuggle. So the front half of a 97-pound German Shepherd was suddenly wrapped around my ankles. At this time in my life, diabetes was still new and I was definitely not controlled yet. I was really very underweight. But all of a sudden, boy did that number go up! No matter how I protested, she wouldn't retake my weight measurement. Once the actual appointment began, the endocrinologist was so involved trying to download my meter, that he just couldn't be bothered to turn around, look at me and actually see that the weight written there was incredibly inaccurate. It was quite a lecture he gave me about putting on weight too quickly!
On another occasion, I visited an endocrinologist who began our first meeting by saying, "So, how did you cheat on your diet this week?" Hey doc, think I'd tell you? Gee, back to good old guilt again!
Somehow I just knew I couldn't be the only one who had developed the habit of dreading doctor's appointments! But at least now I have a cool song to sing while I'm waiting!
Well, you can't live with any sort of chronic disease and not do battle with your insurance company at some point in your life. I always wondered if they deliberately timed those denial letters to arrive in the Friday mail so we couldn't call them when we were really upset. Hmmm. And of course, insurance companies are almost never truly bothered by the mere fact that we may be disappointed or jeopardized when something serious isn't covered. Naturally I took this frustration out on my keyboards. Sometimes there's just nothing like getting even in a way that won't really get me in trouble somewhere. And then again…
I hope this song helps to put you back in the driver's seat and lets you know you have lots of company on this journey!
Sometimes during a down phase, my imagination can really get the best of me. Besides, whenever we try to discuss any other illness with a doctor, the answer is always "diabetes" anyway. So in the middle of the night, oh no! What was that? When I know my good control has slackened a bit, here comes that guilt again! And what do you say if you do find yourself living with diabetes complications? What do we do with the self-doubt, the self-criticism, the fear of judgment from others, or the real criticism from others? I thought this song would give us somewhere to put these thoughts---somewhere that would allow us to move forward with them, not be battered by them. So, is it just me?
In the midst of all the analysis, guilt, frustration and wondering, sometimes there's nothing like a good old rock tune to just pronounce our life style! So here it is! This is just a real "what is" song. Feel like you just can't win? Put on a cool pair of shoes and play the game!
Okay, I really needed to write this song. As a blind person, I've read braille all my life. For many years, I worked as a symphony musician. Over the years I have really struggled with the blood testing procedures because of not always knowing whether or not I had enough blood on my finger to do an accurate test. This resulted in many extra finger sticks every day, leading to some impressive calluses on my fingers. One day I just really did start feeling bad about beating up on these fingers who really did connect me with the rest of the world. I realized that my frustration and impatience with the whole testing procedure were leading me to skip tests in the name of actually having a fun day or getting something done. So I figured I'd come to terms with this by having a little conversation with my fingers and acknowledging what they really do for me. It was this song that really propelled me into creating a complete diabetes-related music CD.
So, gotta hand it to those fingers! I hope this song helps you to make the time for those finger sticks, knowing that others out there also have trouble getting enough blood, hate the thought of damaging beautiful hands and yes, talk to various body parts! Come to think of it, kind of funny that this is track 10, isn't it!
The idea for this song came from observing a few people in my insulin pump group. One day when asked what to tell a kid who only wanted to eat cereal, one member responded with, "Tell him to suck it up or die!" In any group there's always someone who says things hurt him or her more than anyone else. But there's that one person who just always seems to do what he or she is supposed to do. I couldn't help but wonder how true that really was. So I thought I'd have some fun with the other side of the tough guy. Since we've had so much discussion about which lancing devices caused the least amount of pain, this song features the diabetes management gear in a very prominent role. And no, I never really thought about packaging the CD with a snickers bar!!!
Oh yes, there is a story behind the creation of this song! When I was beginning my first insulin pump training, I was to meet my pump trainers at a hospital in another town. None of us knew this town. My husband and I arrived early and drove around looking for some lunch. The only food we found was a "fast food" burger place. As we were eating he said, "hey, there are your pump trainers over there!" Oh no! They're going to look over here and see what I'm eating and think…. oh no! Of course, what I didn't know was that they looked over, saw us and said, "Oh no! He's going to tell her we're here and then he's going to tell her what we're eating and…oh no!"
So I thought it would be fun to mix those "oh no" moments with the every-day "pain in the butt" moments, and bring out a little of the mischief we can cause, just to paint another picture of our daily lives. Oh come on, admit it! Wasn't it fun to get your food fast when you tossed in the diabetes word? Oh yes, you did too do it!!! I laughed when I heard you! Oh wait! Did I distract you? How many carbs had you added up so far?
Over the years, I've lost count of the number of times people talked about having a "positive attitude", and seemed to mean that I should be thrilled with my daily routine, no matter what. I do consider myself a happy, positive person. But there are those days when I'm just "so done" with all of this! During one particularly low phase, I actually started to realize what it was that made me ultimately climb back up and do what I need to do in order to take care of myself. Hmmm, why didn't I just give up? During those dark moments, I sure don't care about myself, do I? It made me start to think about how my diabetes impacts those around me and what my responsibilities are to them. In my case, I have an identical twin who is three minutes older than I am. Hmmm, can't take off before she does, now can I? I also have a husband to whom I've taken vows. I actually do quote from those wedding vows in this song.
In addition, I realized that I'd never actually spoken those words out loud---I'm doing all of this partly to fulfill my obligation to those I love. Maybe music would be a good way to say this. I sure hope this song helps you to name that "someone" who is a reason to get up in the morning and do what you don't want to do. So, sing along, give that person a hug and, what is it you have to do next?
I also must thank you because I knew I couldn't give up before your album had reached your ears!
I hope that these extra stories and details have deepened your connections with the songs and helped you to find whatever it is you needed to get from this CD.
And speaking of extras, have you finished measuring all the other extra tidbits?
And if you haven't actually heard it yet, feel free to learn more about
"Diabetes Melodious".
And if you're looking for other ways to reward those close to you, take a look at my other recordings:
"We Woof You A Merry Christmas"
"Guide Dogs, First Hand" and
"The Guide Dog Glee Club".
Finally, if you want to see what else I can sing about, feel free to peruse the list of songs you can select
From The Song Banks of Laurel Creek.
And then don't forget to visit my order page.
And remember, all your friends can come into this clinic! Anytime! No appointment necessary
Web site contents copyright © 1999-2010 by Veronica Elsea
